Lez Experiment Dating Programs – AfterEllen

I enjoy websites and large groups of unfamiliar
provide myself anxiety-driven bitch face, very online dating through the software store sounds like a wonderful concept to me. Almost anything to abstain from in person rejection/rejecting.
Internet dating
is nothing brand-new, even though some direct men and women might think twice to publish their unique personals on the web for fear of stigma, virtually every lesbian i am aware has eventually eliminated internet based to acquire lurve or at least sex. It just makes sense; gay-dar has actually restrictions, lesbian nights can feel much and feel between, and meeting a girl organically feels impossible as a gay woman.

There isn’t any debating reality: lesbians are working with a much more compact prospective internet dating pool than right women, and (for factors as yet not known to me) you’ll find a lot less lesbian tailored activities than activities geared at gay males. We’re straight-up much less visible, and internet dating apps let us properly flick through ladies WE ALL KNOW like women. I cannot imagine generating a profile doesn’t generate me self-concious, but i shall point out that it’s a good idea to place yourself out there in almost any way that to sit yourself, re-watching
The L Keyword
, waiting for Mrs. best to bicycle through the home.

The other day we created an internet dating profile on each of the internet sites, and status apps geared (or taking) of lesbians predicated on three criteria: style, amenities, and my personal experience.


Design: OkCupid’s color palette of pepto bismal red and gender-normative azure isn’t really the chicest choice, but it is maybe not unsightly. Tone smart, OkCupid is actually relentlessly positive with tongue in cheek language and a pleasing feeling of “we don’t just take this as well seriously and neither if you.”


Like all of those programs, obtaining beginning with OkCupid is actually quick and simple. All you need is an email address and a (ideally charming) username and you’re checking out in order to get creepin’. Regular users can filter potentials centered on different requirements, which enables you to cast your internet as broad or slim as you like. OkCupid provides a lot more features, filters, and procedures than just about any different dating application I scene. Some of the finest offer:

a. Compatibility concerns that enable you to see your “match %” together with other customers

b. fun quizzes galore so other people can pre-judge you

c. power to search predicated on place, age, top, faith, smoking cigarettes, consuming, drug use, competition (ugh), etc

d. capacity to sort potentials according to match per cent, final online, most recent, etc you’re not trapped taking a look at the exact same assortment

age. instrument setting “broadcast” so feamales in your area can easily see you intend to go out right-away

f. preference not to seem to direct individuals- this cuts way-down on weird directly dudes therefore blinded by unique delusional frustration they won’t believe “gay” indicates “perhaps not enthusiastic about men including you”


The biggest cost-free matchmaking application in the us, OkCupid combines many filters, step-by-step users, and perhaps the greatest thickness of LGBTQ ladies available. I, and the majority of gay females i understand, have at some point(s) used OkCupid going upon go out after awkward time assured of (possibly) conference somebody well worth waxing sweet nothings upon. One disadvantage of everyone becoming on OkCupid is everybody else will know you’re on OkCupid. This really is specifically shameful once you visit an attractive profile and then find that profile is someone you know, that knows you, who’ll understand you know they are aware you’re by yourself. No quantity of horrified straight back pressing can un-visit an unfriendly friend’s OkCupid profile.

Proceed with caution, but do continue. I have heard some good success tales from OkCupid, while i did not discover anyone i desired up to now on the website, i did so meet an adorable brand-new buddy.


With-it’s clean format and modern typography, Tinder is hands down many aesthetically attractive app. Regrettably, form arrives at the cost of function. Users are extremely limited, and trying to find fits is restricted to turning through images of each Tinder user whom shares a minumum of one comparable “like” along with you on fb.


Tinder is largely a flip publication of people vaguely connected with you on fb. You flip through photos and hit “heart” if you like everything see and “x” if you don’t. Since Tinder views me finding yourself with a person, even though the looked at ending up with a guy makes me internally scream, I invested 99per cent of that time period pushing “x.” Should you want to see about somebody, you can try their unique very restricted profile observe five photographs, a short summary of how chill they are, and what “likes” you communicate. I cannot envision a less effective way of on the lookout for my personal next girlfriend/victim.


Tinder may be the cyber-equivalent of sitting on a road part, pointing at passers-by, and asking “how about any particular one? Think about that one? What about this one? What about that one?” to ascertain your upcoming time. I look over article upon enthusiastic post about Tinder getting the new large thing, and I also obtain the appeal: perhaps the one for you personally is actually a friend of a friend, only would love to be found.

Unfortunately, Tinder works underneath the oppressive, hetero-normative presumption that that individual might be from the opposite sex. Tinder matched myself with an overwhelming almost all virtually 100% male fits, the actual fact that we put my personal choice to “women.” When Tinder did complement myself with a female, there was clearly no indication whatsoever whether that woman was gay or simply just also enjoyed

Mean Women

. Apparently Tinder thinks homosexual ladies are only dealing with a phase, possibly functioning through some father issues, and all of we need to do is actually glance at adequate photos of men and in addition we’ll gave a get back to our God-given put on the D.

Regarding morbid interest, we produced a Tinder membership linked to one of my direct guy pals facebook, and surprise shock: not one picture of one jumped up. Not one. I sifted for thus many years assured that maybe Tinder really does merely treat all people as though their unique intimate inclination is just as irrelevant; it does not. Tinder treats LGBTQ people as second-class consumers since it views LGBTQ sexualities as second-class sexualities; we are really not standard and so maybe not worth perhaps the most rudimentary of consideration. Tinder graciously permits LGBTQ women to join their solution, but do not expect these to treat you as something aside from direct. To Tinder, we are obviously maybe not worth the work.

Practically nothing offends me personally, but being treated as though my intimate direction is unimportant offends me. An app just helpful to direct individuals masquerading as a LGBTQ friendly app offends myself. Tinder might be trendy and based on an essentially good clear idea (matching via friends of FB friends/similar interests), but this really is 2013 and it is not ok to take care of homosexual ladies like second class users in virtually any context or average.


Oh, Brenda. Brenda, Brenda, Brenda. It really is as you’re trying never to turn me on. To begin with, which in God’s name chose “Brenda” is a good title for a dating program? Why don’t you Gladys? Millicent? Helga? Why don’t you merely identify the software “Gram Gram” and call-it every day?

Besides sharing the name of unlikable female television characters every where, Brenda battles with design and energy. Underneath a depressing palate of cheap lavender and dreary grey, Brenda really does actually look like a sweet, well meaning software. I pity Brenda, i would like Brenda take the woman glasses down and expose that bangin’ human body, but Really don’t need to shag with Brenda. I wish i did so but Really don’t. I’m much too low for Brenda.


Brenda can brag the awesome respect to be truly the only older lesbian dating application within the app store. Yay! I adore this. I would like to place just as much length between accessibility my personal lady-bits and males as you possibly can, even on the internet. Other features Brenda carries include:

a. Easy immediate messaging. IM like their 2005.

b. Filter by a long time and…. Really that’s it.

c. Short home explanation place

d. Capacity to publish doing five photographs


The one thing i really like about Brenda will be the ladies on the web. OkCupid feels somewhat senior school just what with all the “exactly who visited whoever profile” but Brenda people are friendly and don’t be reluctant anyway to hit myself up. We see really potential here, although site demands a makeover plus filters/amenities to truly end up being a competitor.


I cannot rate Dattch the lesbian matchmaking app because I cannot download Dattch the lesbian online dating software. We searched high and low in the software shop but alas, Dattch eludes myself today up to it eluded me the afternoon Trish said to install Dattch. Perhaps its just for European lesbians? Regardless of the explanation, Dattch hella snubbed me and that I won’t your investment insult. Although they do have an excellent pretty web site.

So which software bodes good for women who like ladies? And Also The winner is…. OkCupid! OkCupid not simply has actually far more lezzers, it offers features for several days, addicting quizes, in- range users, and an incredibly in depth search criteria. Also, by permitting LGBTQ women to keep undetectable to direct consumers, OkCupid enables you to time online without male harassment. So just do it, make a profile, just in case you notice myself go ahead and let me know I’m pretty.